This is What Adoption Looks Like: The Countdown is On!
I continue to be overwhelmed with the support from you all regarding our adoption process. I often forget even though we are constantly talking about baby in this house- we don’t usually share too many details out and about. After being asked for an update numerous times last week, I thought it would be a good time to post an update.
The first meeting: As many know, just a few weeks ago we flew out to meet the expectant mom (EM) who chose us to possibly parent her child. The match was full of roller coaster type emotions. We were over joyed to see how similar our desires for the future are. We all desire an open adoption where there will be constant updates (photos, texts, etc.) but also occasional family visits as well. We chatted about the prayers that have been lifted up over the past months leading up to this special meeting. But we also discussed how this is not an easy process and it’s a RISK for both sides. Our hearts broke for the loss her and her family would feel when the time came for us to bring baby home. We listened to her story (not for us to share here) and we were deeply saddened for her. We admired her strength and determination. And most of all we were overwhelmed how God was answering not only our prayers but also hers through this match.
So where are we now? As far as our Baby Mama goes (Don’t worry- she knows we call her this and she actually calls me the same-one of those funny conversations where we saw how alike we are) we are still working on building a relationship. We text often (multiple times a week), send each other photos and we get our families together to Skype/Facetime to help make this transition easier on all. We are already making plans for the families to visit in person this summer down in FL (for those that know us, this did not take much convincing lol). It has been so hard not sharing the details of this relationship. I tend to be an open book and am prone to oversharing because I hope my life can be an example (both good and bad) on how God is developing me as a person. I still stand on the principle her journey is not my story to share. I will say, you will never hear me speak negatively of her as she will only have a place of admiration and honor in our home. This comes from a place of our genuine respect for her but also believing it will help the daughter we will share grow with confidence in who she is as well.
As for the baby– she is growing bigger every day, and she is healthy! She is weighing in around 5.9lbs right now and we have been told it appears she will be born with lots of hair! We were excited to hear this as we have been praying she would. We already purchased her first bottle of shampoo just incase. Her due date is Feb.20 but she is measuring two weeks ahead. We have our count down set and if she were to arrive exactly when expected we have 21 days to go. Here’s a photo of her for you all to enjoy. We all look at it constantly. We are so in love with her already! (Yes I had permission to share it)
Fundraising: This is tough topic. I have given this a lot of thought. We have been encouraged to fundraise by some and others have mentioned they feel its wrong to fundraise for adoption. They didn’t get to raise money to have their children so we shouldn’t either. After much prayer and self reflection here’s my philosophy on the situation. For those who comment on not fundraising for their biological children: if your child would require a medical bill of $40,000 most would not hesitate to give to a go-fund me account to help in that situation. Communities rally together all the time to help with costs that can seem overwhelming. There’s something beautiful about the way people come together through power of social media to help others. From a Christian prospective, God has called us to support widows and orphans (James 1:27) and that through God the fatherless finds compassion (Hosea 14:3 NIV also translated “In you the orphan finds mercy”ESV). Adoption is the perfect picture of our relationship with God. It should be no surprise to us that God has a heart for the fatherless. Over the past few weeks I have seen a post going around Facebook about this very issue. It has bothered me because I feel it’s not necessarily a fair depiction of the church. However, this is indeed how the world see us right now and we must think about why that is. Its a pastor standing at the front of the church asking who is against abortion. Every hand is raised. He then asks who wants to adopt- not one hand goes up.
The truth is, not all of us will be called to adopt. But it does not free us from our responsibility to do something. The best way we can help if we are not called to adopt ourselves is to support those who are! I so badly want to share the journey of this expectant mom and what brought her to this brave decision of adoption. So many times I hear Christians say- “I wish I could have stepped in to do something to help to prevent her from feeling as if abortion was her only option!” I fully believe if you knew her story you would not hesitate to support us in giving her child a home. But again it’s not my story to tell. So instead I simply want to challenge you to trust what you are investing in will not just shape the life of this child, but also shape the lives of her biological family as well. If you choose not to give there are no hard feelings. I simply ask you to pray about it and trust God with your finances. If you don’t give to our cause, give to support someone else!
Our need: I’ve mentioned in the past that this adoption will cost $40K. We have already raised $6K through our past fundraisers. We still need $34K to complete the costs. If you are willing please make a donation to our Both Hands account (<<<simply click on the link)! As an added bonus your giving will be tax deductible! We also you need you to do it quickly. Baby is due in 21 days but as babies do, they come whenever they feel ready. This means we have very little time to raise a huge amount of money. We also are looking for anyone who might have airline miles to donate. We will get a call informing us baby is on the way and then book the first flight out. This means the flights will not be cheap. I love to travel with our large family and am only able to do so because I find extreme discounts and family friendly budget deals. This has my money conscious mind on overdrive as I look at the costs of last minute travel. With that said, each time I am overwhelmed by all the costs of this adoption God gently reminds me of the price he paid to adopt me. Suddenly I realize what he is asking of my family is not so costly. And finally, PLEASE PRAY! We are asking God to be in every detail of this adoption. From the timing of the birth, as in schedules for family to be with our other children while we are away, to having a place to stay while we are in FL. Will we arrive in time to be there for the birth? Will we have the words to say to bring comfort to this beautiful family who is making a difficult decision? Will the expectant mom be able to follow through with her plans for this precious baby girl? These are all very real concerns and we need the peace of God to flood our minds and hearts over these next few weeks. We desire your prayers above all as we know it will only be through God’s grace that we are able to navigate this process in a way that honors him. THANK YOU for all the love and support! We look forward to introducing this baby girl to you in just a few short weeks!